The story of the bald frog with the wig

Once upon a time in a kingdom not so far away there lived a prince. This prince had really pissed off some of the princess types in the kingdom by going to the ball with their ugly stepsisters. I mean, the prince wasn't all that; he had a big nose and no chin. Alls he really had going for him was a head full of luxurious locks of curly auburn hair. So just who did he think he was anyway, passing up the beautiful, fit princesses for their ugly, fat, evil stepsisters? One day all the princesses decided to get together and teach him a lesson. They snuck up on him as he lay snoring in the garden after a night out dancing with one of the ugly stepsisters, and using pruning shears that were lying nearby, they chopped off all that beautiful hair and knitted it into a dozen golf tee cozies. For some reason, this improved all of their golf games so they ended up living happily ever after on their winnings from the PGA Princesses tour. Meanwhile the prince, having woke up bald from his nap, went to see if one of the ugly stepsisters could do anything for him (she was the President of the Hair Club for Women). Unfortunately she was mad at him for stepping on her big ugly toe the night before so she turned him into a frog instead. As he hopped miserably away he thought he saw a few locks of his formerly beautiful hair lying on the ground so he fashioned them into an Elvis-like pompadour and went looking for a disco. But what he thought was his old hair was actually leftovers from a bloomin' onion-ring appetizer from the night before that the stepsister was saving for her extremely ugly and mean dog. Needless to say, the dog, spying his snack hopping away, pounced on it, ate it, and lived happily ever after.

The end.